In Los Angeles, you can't even enjoy pool time, a joyride, or a charity photo shoot without dramaworks exploding all over your Fourth of July. Eric expected to have a martini, but instead, he got, "Boom! Your wife and son are having an affair!" Steffy thought she was all fierce and flawless at the photo shoot until she heard, "Bang! I challenge you to a duel!" Brooke expected R.J. for dinner, but instead, she got, "Crash! Your son's been in an accident!"
What's an employee to do when the summer holiday lands on a Tuesday? Do you call in sick Friday or Monday -- or both? If you work for Forrester, you might have been too late, because for them, Independence Day started the Thursday before last with Sheila wearing a snakeskin jacket. Eight episodes later, Sheila is hopefully finally shedding that thing in her hotel room. Is Eric watching her do it from a dog crate she bought to keep him in after kidnapping him?
While Sheila slithered the all week-long day in snakeskin print, Thomas and Sally, slithered into the Forrester photo shoot to steal some limelight and bathing suits. Coco wasn't happy about her sister's publicity stunt, but I'm not happy with Coco's stunt driving and texting. "Look, Darlita! No hands -- or eyes!"
The Fourth of July dramaworks weren't complete without a triangle stink bomb. Ridge, Quinn, and Sheila dropped one on Eric that smelled so bad that Eric kicked Quinn out and vacated his own premises! Eric is missing, and we know Calgon didn't take him away. Does Sheila have a woodsy cabin where the unconscious Eric might be recuperating right now -- handcuffed to the bed? Let's scoop on the boom, bang, crash dramaworks that exploded -- and the nothing bombs that fizzled -- this week on the Bold and the Beautiful!
You can piggyback when pigs fly
Thomas and Sally snapped my last nerve this week when Thomas chose to "take a page out of Sally's book" to steal Forrester Creations' publicity -- and a couple of pool outfits while he and Sally were at it. If Thomas wants to prove he can make it without Forrester or tricks, why did he resort to using tricks and Forrester to get media buzz for Spectra?
In case you missed it, Thomas crashed Forrester's livesteam event to challenge Forrester to a fashion duel in Monte Carlo. Liam told Thomas it wasn't a good idea to piggyback off Forrester. "But I am a Forrester," responded Thomas in the most entitled response of daytime.
Thomas was proud when Steffy called him a Spectra for his actions. Sally quipped that Thomas is a fast learner when Steffy said Sally had taught him Spectra 101. Thomas acted like Spectra was doing the charity a favor because Spectra's involvement would double the profits.
First of all, Thomas does not get to renounce everything Forrester and then waltz his assetless self into a photo shoot and claim Forrester when it benefits him. Second, Spectra is not going to double the charitable profits. How freaking dare Thomas speak as if his infantile company can really compete with the fifty-year-old Forrester Creations!
Eric ran Forrester as a privately held design house for twenty years before Thomas was even a twinkle in Ridge's eye. While I appreciate Thomas wanting to make his own mark, he needs to respect the time and dedication it took Forrester to become what it is and stop behaving as if he and his inexperienced hacks can beat Forrester after only a couple months in business.
Thomas seemed to know it in the past, like when he told Zende that being a designer wouldn't happen overnight. So how does becoming Forrester Creations' formidable rival happen overnight? Thomas, you're not that good, and you can't even stay committed to anything -- or anyone -- long enough to even see if it can work.
Thomas changes his mind like he changes hair souffle, and he doesn't care who thinks it's too sticky as long as he's getting what he thinks he wants in that particular moment. Thomas wants Sally, so Forrester has to deal with him swiping influence and publicity from Forrester. Back when it was Caroline that Thomas wanted, Forrester had to put up with Thomas and Caroline taking two-thirds of the design team to New York, and Forrester had to accommodate Thomas when he returned alone.
Remember when Thomas had the nerve to say Ridge robbed him of time and special moments with Douglas? What's Thomas doing now? Robbing himself of them? Or was fatherhood just another passing fancy of Thomas', like Dayzee, Hope, Ivy, Sasha, and Charlotte? Will Spectra and Sally just be the next casualties of his short attention span?
All Sally and Thomas do is sit in the office, smooching and sweating all over each other, lavishing each other in compliments. We don't even see Grams, Saul, or Darlita anymore. It's no wonder they have need to bite off Katie's campaign because no one around there works on anything more than a new logo and Sally and Thomas' egos.
Even Coco is leery about Sally again. Coco is unhappy about what the couple pulled and said Sally did not have to go along with Thomas. Coco also told R.J. that Sally does not appreciate how lucky she is that Forrester did not put her in jail, and Coco expected more from her sister.
"Don't blame me. It was Thomas' idea," Sally told Coco. Isn't that the story of Sally's life? Don't blame Sally. Grams did it...it wasn't Sally's idea. Darlita thought it up. If Thomas walked out of Forrester with stolen designs, he'd say, "I'm a Forrester," and she'd say, "Don't look at me, Thomas did it." And we're supposed to root for this couple?
When talking about what they'd done, Thomas told Sally that Steffy was starting to accept his choice. "My choice being you," he added. That type of talk is the root of Spectra's problems.
Somebody at Spectra ought to recognize it before Spectra loses everything the moment Thomas chooses someone else...like Caroline Spencer...
A preview for Caroline's return says Thomas has to choose between a new love and true love. I don't know that it's "true love," but Thomas sure as heck tossed his last new love aside like an empty ice cream bowl the last time Caroline flew into town. Will he do to Sally what he did to Sasha the moment Douglas and Caroline are back in his orbit?
What do you think about Thomas waltzing into Forrester and stealing some of their press? Is he becoming more like the Spectras, as Steffy thinks, or is it just the same old Thomas who takes what he thinks he's entitled to? Please say so in the comments below if you actually agree with Thomas piggybacking off Forrester for success.
Sally and Thomas discussed Coco's negative feelings about what they'd done, and Thomas said he'd just tell Coco it was his idea. Will Thomas taking the blame make anything better in Coco's eyes? Should Coco judge her sister in the first place, especially now that she's not owning up to her own mistakes?
Texting and lying can kill a girlfriend-parent friendship
On the Fourth of July, instead of enjoying a nice rack of ribs, R.J. waited to find out if he had bruised his ribs in a joyride on a zig-zagging road. As if not wearing seat belts wasn't bad enough, Coco and R.J. rode around in an expensive car, posing like they were in a roller coaster cart on a track instead of on a dangerously winding, two-way road.
The whole time R.J. and Coco were laughing, taking pictures, and texting, I envisioned a classroom full of silent kids who listened to their teacher repeat, "Bueller...Bueller...Bueller..." As I recalled the movie scene in which the Ferrari broke off the car jack and rolled out of the window, I wondered if Ridge would break whatever bones of R.J.'s were left unbroken after the accident.
In case you missed it, R.J. decided to impress Coco with a joyride in Ridge's sixties Camaro. The tickled Coco asked how her boyfriend had access to vintage vehicles anytime he wanted. R.J. asked if it made him a rich brat.
Uh, yeah.
I'm not a car buff, so I don't know if Ridge's particular Camaro is rare. It can't be all that rare because Ridge didn't act too torn up about it. But then again, Ridge did have other things on his mind at the time.
After a trip to Google University, I pegged Ridge's car to be from 1969, but it could certainly be a little younger. Camaros like it sell on the low end at thirty thousand. On the high end, they go for about seventy thousand.
Coco readily offered to pay for repairs. Before the accident, I would believe Coco, who dealt honestly with people and admonished her sister when needed. But after she lied to Ridge's face about the accident, I changed my mind. Coco won't pay a penny toward restitution, just like Sally didn't to Forrester Creations. The Spectras don't do restitution. They just say they will because it sounds good.
R.J. and Coco were texting and driving, taking pictures, and texting and driving. Each one got a turn at the wheel, and each one distracted the other from the road. Coco just happens to be the one who crashed the car.
R.J. and Coco flossed like bosses, taking pictures as if they were riding a celebrity mobile like Bumblebee or Optimus Prime. Coco probably wished it really was a transformer and that it was the one driving while she was busy texting Darlita the same dang pose about a dozen times. Darlita texted back, "Send more! LOL I want to see more selfies!" Smiley face emoji, etc.
Darlita was probably sitting up in Shirley's barbeque, eating cheese puffs, scrolling through Coco's selfies. She urged Coco to send her more, and Coco agreed with thumbs-up signs. Then crash! Coco and R.J wreck, swerving to miss a car in the hairpin curve. Suddenly, no more selfies came through on Darlita's phone. Why was Darlita not alarmed by that?
Of course, Darlita has cheese puff dust for brains, but wouldn't she at least call Coco to find out why she stopped posting or why she wasn't at the party yet? Maybe Darlita wasn't at the party, but are Thomas and Sally so far up each other's tonsils that they can't figure out that their siblings are missing from the event? How many red, white, and blue Jell-o shots has Shirley had not to think to look for her granddaughter?
Where does Coco even live? Is R.J. going to wind up tailing her home and discovering that she lives on Skid Row? Or at the apartment above Dayzee's? I'm sorry, Brooke, but you're sleeping on the job. We just don't know enough about this chick who's dating your son.
Let's take the Spectra clan off the hook because they might not realize that R.J. and Coco are missing in action, but why didn't anyone at the hospital ask for Coco's parents or her guardians before performing work on her? Is it because she's really a legal adult who's running around with an underage boyfriend? What is really going on? Brooke needs to get to the bottom of it.
As of this moment, Coco won't give any honest answers about the accident. When Ridge asked her what had happened on the road, she said she hadn't seen anything. Ridge was like, "You were driving, and you didn't see anything?"
Ridge should have widened her eyes with his fingers and said, "Are you high or something? How do you drive my vintage Camaro and not see anything? Is it shrooms? It's the shrooms, isn't it? What else do you kids do? Lick toads? Which was it?"
Before it got that far, R.J. awakened, interrupting Ridge's questioning. R.J. declared that the accident was his fault. Brooke wanted to know how Coco crashed a car bad enough to land R.J. in the hospital; however, no other car was involved, and no one else was hurt. Coco and R.J. were all shrugging and sharing guilty flashback sequences until Ridge said it didn't matter at the moment, and R.J. needed rest.
Ridge was anxious to get back to Eric. Brooke let Ridge go and stayed at her son's bedside. Bill left the hospital already, and with no one showing up on Coco's behalf, Brooke is the only adult parenting the incident. Are Ridge and Bill abdicating their parental roles with R.J.? Shouldn't one or both of the men have stayed to support Brooke and figure out what happened? Or can it wait, like Ridge said?
I am tempted to let Bill off the hook, even though he's R.J.'s stepfather, because Ridge was there. When Bill suggested airlifting R.J. to a special hospital, Ridge declined. "Understood," Bill replied. I think what Bill "understood" was that R.J. is Ridge's son, and Bill needed to back off for the blended family to work. Bill probably left to give Ridge and Brooke room to parent.
Ridge, on the other hand, should have remained with his child, no matter what was going on with Quinn and Eric, who are adult enough to take care of themselves. Ridge should have remained at the hospital to support his family and get to the bottom of the joyride. The story doesn't end just because no one was seriously hurt. There's still the matter of teaching the young couple to take responsibility for what happened.
Brooke observed that no other car was involved in the accident, which is odd because another car actually was on the road. Coco swerved to avoid it, and I'm kind of shocked that the other driver just kept going, even after hearing a crash behind them. Or is it shocking? It was a holiday. Maybe the driver was drunk and swerving in Coco's lane, causing Coco to crash to miss the driver. I don't know, but it is a bit callous not to stop for a wreck you might have caused.
During the crash, we heard shattering glass, but there's nothing out there on the roadside that Coco could have hit, unless there's a tree trunk or rock under the car and out of view. From the aerial view, it looked like Coco just stopped the car. Maybe they didn't hit anything. Maybe R.J. just hit his head because he didn't have his seat belt on when Coco stopped the car so fast.
If you saw the object Coco hit, let us know in the comments below. Tell us what you think about Coco lying to Ridge about what she'd seen while driving. Should she be fined or face jail time for texting and driving? Be honest. Are you guilty of texting and driving, or have you been a victim of it?
A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the fritz
Affairs are just like decadent food. Ridge Marone was Quinn's San Francisco treat, but a moment on her lips means a lifetime on the fritz for her marriage to his father. Charlie drove Sheila out to the hills, and she spilled the beans on Ridge and Quinn. Eric refused to believe it, but before he could throw Sheila out, Ridge and Quinn arrived and confirmed that something had indeed been going on, just not an affair.
You say tomato, I say pickle? Is that how we're going to play this? Eric raged that Quinn had kissed Ridge, so she had to be in love with him to risk everything. Quinn was all like, "A kiss isn't always a kiss. Sometimes, it's just like a touch on the shoulder and just as easily forgotten."
If a kiss is like a touch on the shoulder, then Sheila was kissing the heck out of Eric, and Ridge was seriously making out with Quinn by the time all was said and done. And if a kiss is like a hand on the shoulder, I've got to set a whole bunch of people straight and burn my tank tops.
As expected, Eric was hurt, disillusioned, and angry. He fell back on the standard insult for Ridge, calling him a Marone. Eric sulked about how his life with Ridge has been a long competition for women, and Eric had to learn to be a good sport about it.
Ridge did the usual self-vilification thing. He applauded Eric for raising Ridge as Eric's own and for treating Ridge like the king Ridge had thought he was. Ridge beat himself up for who he was, saying Stephanie had known it, Thorne had known it, and Brooke had known it. Somewhere around that time, I started to tune out, and this is why.
First, I'm sick of these "how horrid am I" speeches from these characters. Just about every person in L.A. has a bitter soliloquy or sob story ready to spew at a moment's notice about their bad childhoods, loveless marriages, and loneliness. As Sheila said, these things do not make up for the wrongs people do, so everyone can just put down their micro-violins -- including Eric.
I'm really not trying to hear Eric whine and blame a child for how that child turned out. I am really not trying to hear Ridge tell his father how terrible Ridge is. It was really sickening because, as Ridge thanked Eric for taking him in, I was thinking, "No, Ridge. First off, Eric always thought you were his until you were like forty." So Eric did Ridge no favors as a child because Eric always thought Ridge was his responsibility back then.
Because Ridge was Eric's responsibility, there should have been so such thing as Ridge competing with Eric, especially for Stephanie's attention. I'm sure Ridge, the child, wasn't sitting around thinking of how to get Stephanie's attention away from Eric. No, it was probably Eric sitting around, mad because Stephanie was fawning over the boy.
Eric is the older one. He is the father. Whatever way Ridge turned out, Eric affected it. I do not want to hear anything about Marone DNA. Just look at Wyatt and Liam, and you know DNA doesn't make a son be like a father he hadn't met until adulthood. For once, I want Eric to stop blaming Ridge and take responsibility for the kind of parent Eric was.
While Eric competed with Ridge, where did that leave Thorne and his sisters? What would they say of the attention Eric paid them or about how Eric raised them? Most of them are nowhere to be seen, but the child Eric complains about the most has been by Eric's side, running the business. It has been that way for most of Ridge's life except for two years he spent in Paris.
Yeah, Ridge did the wrong thing with Quinn. I'm glad it's out in the open, but Eric should stop acting like Ridge's victim because of Stephanie and Brooke. Ridge wasn't responsible for his mother's actions, and frankly, Eric didn't have any business hooking up with Beth's daughter, especially after Brooke had already been involved with Ridge! It was inappropriate, no matter how Eric wants to slice it, and he needs to stop using it against Ridge.
If Eric wanted Brooke, he should have fought for her instead of marrying Sheila. Ridge wasn't an obstacle. He was married to Taylor.
While we're discussing it, Eric also needs to stop acting like every moment of his life with Stephanie had been so lonely and horrible. When she was alive, they'd sit with their martinis and talk about how they'd built their business and family in the house on the hill. Now that she's gone, Eric tells Quinn he couldn't be the man he'd wanted to be until she'd come along?
What is Eric even talking about? What kind of man was he when he was married to Brooke, to Sheila, or to Donna?
Eric was so full of it that it made it hard for me to feel sorry for him. Another reason I couldn't is because we have had to listen to Ridge and Quinn for months talk about how these feelings mean nothing, and they don't want to hurt Eric. So it kind of falls flat for me when Eric makes a big, sobbing deal about them.
Yeah, Eric, it's a big nothing bomb, like Ridge said. Your best friends, Katie and Brooke, decided it was nothing and not even worth upsetting you over. Sheila, the one you think is telling you the truth, that's the one who wanted to tell you without even knowing you could possibly pop another blood vessel in your head.
Oddly, Eric wanted Sheila to hang around because she'd told him the truth. Really, Eric? If she told you the truth, then why is she still in town? What was she doing in Katie's house? Does he even know what prison she'd been in? Has he checked to see if she'd been legitimately released?
Eric kicked Quinn out, and she went running over to Katie's house to wear Katie's ears out for telling Sheila about Ridge and Quinn. Katie was all like, "No, no. That chick is scarier than I am. I don't talk to scary chicks!" As for Brooke, Katie said Brooke didn't do it, either. Brooke witnessed what Sheila did to Eric and his family, and Brooke won't forget it.
Katie, Brooke not only "witnessed" what Sheila did, Brooke is a scar-carrying member of the Sheila victim's club. When are these people going to stop dancing around what Sheila did in the past? Sheila shot Brooke, but before doing that, Sheila shot Taylor. Sheila would have shot Eric if he hadn't socked her to the ground, knocking her out.
Sheila doesn't even deserve to stand on the lawn after doing that in the mansion. But what does Eric do? He lets Sheila stick around and comfort him in his despair over his wife. When Quinn returned to her house, Eric was gone, and Sheila was gone. What are the odds Sheila kidnapped Eric, either overtly or through manipulation of some sort?
If Sheila did kidnap Eric, that takes money. I already want to know how she can afford daily Il Giardino. Did she win a jailhouse lottery? Cash in her 401k? Or con another rich man like Massimo Marone to bankroll her? Maybe she dug up that kidnapping money from when she ambushed Ridge and Brooke in South America.
In a look ahead
Soap Central spoilers indicate that Caroline will return next week to visit Thomas. Sally feels insecure about Caroline, thanks to Grams, and Caroline is sure to smell the blood in the water. Caroline will ask Bill for a favor. Does she enlist Bill to handle Sally the way she had him handle Maya?
Sheila decides to protect Eric at all costs, and she asks Charlie to help her. Charlie wonders about her ulterior motives, and Liam and Steffy set out to find Eric. Why? What does Steamless have to do with this? Send them back to the spa hut.
The buzz is that Ian Buchanan will reprise his role as James Warwick in August, and it's about time. A psychiatrist is way overdue to land in L.A. again. The first thing James needs to do is have a group session with every single one of our Beverly Hills faves in it. He can hand out straitjackets in swag bags and offer discounts for vacations at the sanitarium.
We want to hear what you think about all the boom, bang, crash dramaworks that went off in the hills this last week. Until we meet again, here's a tip. If you want to floss and take selfies, just ask Charlie to drive you around. You might get more use out of the backseat that way. But if you just gotta text that selfie, you better hope Jesus takes the wheel, or else the crash will be anything but bold and beautiful, baby!
Chanel
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